In this blog post, you will learn some timeless principles and practical tips on how to influence others, get what you want and maintain the relationship. Whether you want to persuade your boss, your clients, your colleagues, your friends or your family, these skills will help you achieve your goals and build lasting rapport.
The Power of Influence
Influence is the ability to change someone’s mind, behavior or decision in a way that benefits you and them. Influence is not manipulation, coercion or deception. Influence is based on trust, respect and mutual understanding.
Some of the benefits of influence are:
- You can get more things done with less effort and resistance
- You can create win-win situations and positive outcomes for everyone involved
- You can inspire others to follow your vision and support your cause
- You can enhance your reputation and credibility as a leader and a communicator
- You can improve your relationships and network with people from different backgrounds and perspectives
The Principles of Influence
According to the renowned psychologist and author Robert Cialdini, there are six universal principles of influence that can be applied in any situation. These are:
Reciprocity
People tend to return favors and feel obligated to repay what they receive. If you want to influence someone, give them something of value first, such as a compliment, a gift, a favor, or a referral.
Scarcity
People want more of what is scarce, rare or limited. If you want to influence someone, emphasize the uniqueness, exclusivity or urgency of your offer, such as a deadline, a limited supply, or a special opportunity.
Authority
People tend to follow the advice and recommendations of experts, leaders and credible sources. If you want to influence someone, demonstrate your expertise, credentials and testimonials, or cite authoritative figures and research.
Consistency
People tend to act in ways that are consistent with their previous commitments and values. If you want to influence someone, ask them to make a small commitment first, such as a verbal agreement, a signature, or a survey, and then build on that commitment later.
Liking
People tend to like and trust those who are similar to them, who compliment them, and who cooperate with them. If you want to influence someone, find common ground, express genuine appreciation, and show interest in them as a person.
Consensus
People tend to follow the actions and opinions of others, especially those who are similar to them or who belong to their group. If you want to influence someone, show them social proof, such as testimonials, ratings, reviews, or endorsements from others who have used your product or service.
The Tips for Influence
Besides applying the principles of influence, here are some additional tips that can help you influence others, get what you want and maintain the relationship:
1. Know your audience
Before you try to influence someone, do some research and find out their needs, wants, goals, values, preferences, and pain points. This will help you tailor your message and offer to their specific situation and interests.
2. Know your purpose
Before you try to influence someone, have a clear and specific goal in mind. What do you want them to do, think or feel as a result of your interaction? How will that benefit them and you? Having a clear purpose will help you stay focused and persuasive.
3. Know your strategy
Before you try to influence someone, plan your approach and prepare your arguments. What are the best ways to communicate your message and offer? What are the possible objections or questions they might have? How will you overcome them? Having a strategy will help you be confident and convincing.
4. Listen actively
When you try to influence someone, don’t just talk, but also listen. Listen to what they say, how they say it, and what they don’t say. Listen to understand their perspective, their emotions, and their concerns. Listening actively will help you build rapport, trust and empathy.
5. Ask open-ended questions
When you try to influence someone, don’t just tell, but also ask. Ask open-ended questions that invite them to share their thoughts, feelings and opinions. Ask questions that explore their needs, wants, goals, values, preferences, and pain points. Asking open-ended questions will help you uncover their motivations, challenges and objections.
6. Use stories and examples
When you try to influence someone, don’t just use facts, figures and logic, but also use stories and examples. Stories and examples are more engaging, memorable and relatable than dry data and statistics. Stories and examples can illustrate your points, demonstrate your value, and evoke emotions.
7. Use positive language
When you try to influence someone, don’t use negative, aggressive or defensive language, but use positive, assertive and respectful language. Positive language is more persuasive, motivating and inspiring than negative language. Positive language can convey your confidence, enthusiasm and sincerity.
The Conclusion
In conclusion, influence is a powerful skill that can help you achieve your goals and improve your relationships. By applying the principles and tips of influence, you can persuade others to change their mind, behavior or decision in a way that benefits you and them. Remember, influence is not manipulation, coercion or deception. Influence is based on trust, respect and mutual understanding.
If you enjoyed this blog post and found it useful, please share it with your friends, colleagues and network. Also, please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. I would love to hear your feedback and suggestions. Thank you for reading and happy influencing!
